So Belle de Jour has outed herself.
What a brave woman.
Am still in love, still with the same man, my love is boring but I love it.
I can tell you that there is not one minute of any day that I miss my job. Never.
I live in a house by the sea and I come home every afternoon like clockwork at the close of business hours. I catch a train with other business people and I am so normal.
Gosh, it's so lovely!!
I am reading back on it all. What a life. Who was that girl? So bullheaded and out of control. I think that if I met her now, I wouldn't know what to say! I wouldn't even recogise her!!
I look at the photos from that time, the crazed look I had in my eyes, the outlandish clothing. I thought I knew all that there was to be sexy, how wrong I was!! Sexy isn't a tight crotch skimming skirt teamed with a cleavage enhancing top... it's a look in your eye, a quiver of the lip, the toss of the hair, the gentle caress of your own body as you appreciate it for what it is.
I have rid my wardrobe of those clothes. Have rid my life of the hangers on who polluted my life with false esteem.
I am on the train now, crowded in beside other humans rushing home to be with loved ones, to cook dinner and discuss their day. I am one of them and for the first time I feel truly happy. Not filled with false bravado, challenging all and sundry to tell me that I am not happy, that I am searching for something which I don't feel I deserve. I am happy. A clean happy. A different happy.
Goodbye LJ. What a short time together it was.